 | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  |
THE SPACE WAS CLEARLY TOO SMALL ... As we pulled into the nursing home parking lot, it seemed everyone must have a visitor, the lot was full. Off in the distance my husband spotted an empty space. As we got closer we exchanged dubious glances - the space was clearly too small. Of course, if we were not riding around in a gas-guzzling tank of a truck, we could fit. After much maneuvering we were parked, but I noted it was a good thing I was not going in to visit because I would not be able to get out of the truck! Then, of course, we realized if I could not get out, neither could the other driver get in. Saying, “I’ll be quick”, my husband left me the keys and we hoped no one would want to leave before he got back. As it always seems to go, about 10 minutes after my husband was gone, a rather tall, large young black man smilingly approached the parking lot. I watched and hoped he was going somewhere else. But no, of course, he was heading right toward me. We looked at each other: he smiled. I on the other hand: started to flail around. First, I remembered that I would have to get out of the truck to change seats to move it, but even if I could get out, the alarm would probably go off. I tried to open the window but the keys were in my pocket not in the ignition, so that didn’t work. I meant to smile as I floundered, wildly pushing buttons, but my white Irish face just looked panicked - I know this for a fact. No, I didn’t look in the mirror. I just saw the look of sadness on the young man’s face as he struggled to open his car door. Finally, I heard him gently laugh and saw him shake his head, thinking I’m sure, “just another pathetic white woman, scared of us big young black men.” I could hear it in my head just a clear as if he had shouted it out loud. He was gone in a minute and there was no way to redeem myself. I’ll never know if my moment of fluster deepened the racial divide or maybe, just maybe, only confirmed a young man’s suspicion that an aging chubby woman should never be left alone in a big truck! RTM 1-28-08 |
